About love...
Looking into my pending mails I found this follow up from Jullie, the therapist who conducted the weekend workshop "getting the love you want" in which An and I participated last February in Hong Kong. It was great to go over it and just wanted to share with you all. I love the phrase "what you focus on grows".
She said:
How can you continue to grow in connection? Do what you did this weekend! Continue to:
Then she added the note from the creators of the Imago theory.
Love, in Imago, is a verb, not a noun.
It is created or destroyed minute by minute by our actions.
Love is an act that is accompanied by a feeling, but it is not a feeling itself.
Love is the behavioral commitment to another's physical, emotional, mental and spiritual potential and welfare
that is equal to if not greater than the same commitment to oneself.
Love is free from negative judgement; it is the full acceptance of another as they are, not as one wishes them to be.
Love accepts and honors difference. It is the hyphen between the I and the Thou.
-Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. & Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Attached is the picture of the group who did together the workshop.
She said:
How can you continue to grow in connection? Do what you did this weekend! Continue to:
- see your partner in a positive light; what you focus on grows!
- dialogue about how you see them positively ...
- share appreciations of your partner; what you focus on grows!
- dialogue about what you appreciate about them ...
- focus on what YOU do to contribute to the safety in your relationship; what you focus on grows!
- dialogue about what you and your partner need for greater safety between you ...
- develop compassion for yourself and your partner; what you focus on grows!
- dialogue about the thoughts, feelings, fears, and childhood experiences that lie beneath the surface on nearly every frustration ...
- have fun; what you focus on grows!
- dialogue about your own reactivity; take ownership ... get curious about the wound of yours that has been triggered and give voice to the 90% that is old stuff ...
- share your frustrations in the form of a compassionate, Intentional Dialogue
- be curious !!!
Then she added the note from the creators of the Imago theory.
Love, in Imago, is a verb, not a noun.
It is created or destroyed minute by minute by our actions.
Love is an act that is accompanied by a feeling, but it is not a feeling itself.
Love is the behavioral commitment to another's physical, emotional, mental and spiritual potential and welfare
that is equal to if not greater than the same commitment to oneself.
Love is free from negative judgement; it is the full acceptance of another as they are, not as one wishes them to be.
Love accepts and honors difference. It is the hyphen between the I and the Thou.
-Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. & Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Attached is the picture of the group who did together the workshop.
posted by Ro at
12:10 PM
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